Every man at some point in his life is likely to face a discussion with his wife or girlfriend about having children. This is likely to come up after seeing a newborn baby, or even just watching television and seeing a new baby on a show. Women and men all tend to have a biological clock that helps them decide when and if they want children. How does a man survive and negotiate successfully the right time to have children without creating a horrible argument and fight over something so precious? Read on for tips for how to best handle this and keep your beloved woman happy, while having some input into when you have children.
Women do not always become pregnant the first time you try to conceive. No matter what you think, you do not have super sperm, and she does not have super eggs. It is likely to take weeks or even months before pregnancy can occur. You need to work with a window of time, instead of just a specific date that you want to get pregnant by.
The age-old excuse of “we can’t afford kids” is outdated and does not fly very well. There is always something that will come up and prevent it from being a good financial decision. Face it, kids are not cheap, have not been cheap, and will never be cheap. However, if you put off having children until you can afford it and your career is set up, then how is your career going to handle sudden fatherhood?
Career goals should be very specific. If you choose to wait and further your career before having children that is fine. However, your goals should be set and limited to a time frame, not a certain job title. For example, if you are a new lawyer set a time limit of 2 years, not when you make a partner. It could be 6 years before you make a partner, or it could be only 6 months. There is no way of knowing, this can cause huge strains, as well as the fact that it can cause a great deal of stress at work and home.
If your wife wants to talk about having children it is never a good idea to blow her off. This is only going to add fuel to the fire and upset her greatly. If you are busy and unable to talk when she wants to talk, just set a time to talk about children. Stick to the time do not use this merely as an excuse to avoid the topic. If you avoid the subject of children your wife may come to think that you do not love her and may think that she has done something to upset you, instead of realizing that it is your way of dealing with something your not ready to deal with yet.
When deciding when to start trying for a baby, remember that it takes approximately 40 weeks for a full-term pregnancy. Keep in mind that 40 weeks is the pregnancy term in a perfect world, the actual term for the pregnancy in your situation could be 42 weeks or even as little as 20 weeks. Premature babies are possible; however, during the course of the pregnancy, you have quite a while to get everything ready for the baby.
If you decide that you want to wait until a set period of time to have a child, say 6 months then you should stick to that time frame. Do not use this as an excuse to postpone the child’s discussion. That is unfair to your wife and will likely cause fights and arguments.
As you can see, there are many things that you as a guy can do to cause an argument where a baby is involved. You should proceed carefully unless you would like to spend the rest of your days lonely and childless. There is a correct and an incorrect way to handle things as a new father, or potential father. I am going to spend some time helping educate the scared men of the world who are considering fatherhood as their next career move.